Sexual grounding: NFP fagkveld med Geoff Lamb & Helena Løvendal – fordypning

Sexual grounding fordypning:

Sexual grounding therapy: Her kan du lese mer om bakgrunnen for temaet til fagkvelden samt om foredragsholderne.

Presentation to the NFP 4th April 2019

An introduction to Sexual Grounding Therapy

Sexual Grounding Therapy© is a psychosexual body therapy, which has its roots in the psychodynamic tradition of Freud, and especially Reich, but which goes beyond these roots especially in the way Willem Poppeliers, the founder of Sexual Grounding Therapy©, re-envisions the classic theory of the Oedipal stage of psychosexual development. In Freud’s version, the five-year-old boy has a desire to have sex with his mother and to murder his father; the resolution to this conflict being that the boy has to give up these desires, under threat of castration by his father, eventually internalising the threatening father as his super-ego. The version for the five-year-old girl is now regarded, in psychodynamic thinking, as similar[1], except that, according to analysts such as Jaques Lacan, women don’t experience castration anxiety because they already know they’ve been castrated, not possessing a penis and testicles!

Poppeliers’ version is much more positive. Unlike other critics of Freud’s Oedipal theory who were uncomfortable with the idea of children as sexual beings, he strongly endorses the idea, but sees their impulses as curious, excited and innocent (key words in Sexual Grounding theory). So children at age 4-6 are certainly curious about and excited by their own and others’ genitals and they may also want a physically intimate relationship with one or both parents, but this isn’t adult sex. If parents are able to respond in a positive manner, celebrating their child’s emerging sexuality rather than feeling threatened by their innocent impulses, no one has to give up anything and children internalise, not a punishing super-ego, but a positive sense of themselves as sexual beings, which is the beginning of Sexual Grounding.

Another way in which Sexual Grounding Therapy© differs from most psychotherapies is that it works across the whole of the human lifespan; focussing on what is needed from our parents at all of the significant developmental points in our lives, up to and including our death. We need, but rarely get, support in, and examples of, how to find ourselves as sexual beings, how to make fulfilling relationships, how to thrive when children come (or not), how to sustain our fulfilling relationships in middle age, how to age sexually and how to die sexually.

Above all, Sexual Grounding Therapy© is about relationships – our relationship to ourselves, our parents – as our two sexual sources, one masculine, one feminine – throughout our lives (even after they are no longer with us physically), our relationships with our sexual partners, with our children, with friends and the wider community and even with the planet on which we live. One of the problems which frequently arises in couple relationships is where one or both partners is trying to get from their partner what they didn’t get earlier from their parent(s?). Many schools of couple therapy recognise this, but what is different about Sexual Grounding Therapy is that it sees this in terms of triadic and dyadic relationships.

When we, as most of us do, relate to our partner in the same way as we related to one or both parents, we create a triadic relationship, i.e. one with three people in it. We also approach the relationship from a position either of entitlement or need; the need or entitlement being that our partner affirms us as a sexual being. Sexual Grounding would assert that this is our parents’ job. If our parents have done that job, or if we’ve worked on this in a Sexual Grounding context, we’re then able to approach the relationship from a position of wanting to share ourselves with our partner rather than needing something from them.

In this presentation, Helena and Geoff would like to introduce you to the history and theory of Sexual Grounding Therapy, give you one or more reflective exercises based on the work and to answer any questions, which may arise. These could include any cases you’d like to discuss from a Sexual Grounding perspective.

Sexual grounding NFP fagkveld Geoff Lamb
Sexual grounding therapy, NFP fagkveld, foredragsholder Geoff Lamb

Geoff Lamb

is a Sexual Grounding Trainer, psychotherapist, psychosexual therapist and couple therapist. He trained in Reichian Bioenergetic therapy with Tricia Scott and David Boadella, qualifying in 1985 and has been practicing ever since. He has also been involved in counselling training since 1987, first as Course Leader on the Diploma in Counselling at East Surrey College and later, between 2005 and 2017 as Director of Inter-Psyche, a counselling training organisation within the British National Health Service. Geoff has written numerous articles on counselling and psychotherapy and is currently working on a book about Sexual Grounding Therapy© Geoff is married with two grown up children and nourishes himself and relaxes by singing choral music and by growing vegetables on his allotment.
Geoff Lambs website.

Sexual grounding NFP fagkveld Helena Loevendal
Sexual grounding NFP fagkveld, foredragsholder Helena Loevendal

Helena Løvendal

Born in Denmark, 1958: Helena has been running a private practice in London, UK, since 1988. She was faculty member at The Institute of Psychosynthesis in London for six years, has offered workshops for women since 1993, and in 1996, co- founded The Centre For Gender Psychology. The umbrella organization, Creative Couple Work (previously Contextual Couple Counselling), was founded in 2000 to offer specialist, post-graduate diploma training in Relationship Therapy & Coaching.

Helena offers psychotherapy, coaching and workshops for individuals and couples, as well as specialist training and supervision for professionals in the field of relationships, sex and gender relations in UK, Europe, Scandinavia, Russia and Mexico.

An experienced and accredited psychotherapist, teacher and trainer of other professionals, her unique approach evolved over many years out of her personal development work and professional training with leading teachers from around the world.

Amongst the first qualified Sexual Grounding Therapists®, Helena is a SGT Senior Therapist & Trainer and was appointed Head of Education SGT International in May 2013. Together with Geoff Lamb, the UK centre for Psychosexual Therapy & Education was founded in 2017 to bring this pioneering work to the UK .

In 2016 she joined Kim McCabe, Founder of ‘Rites for Girls’ and they co-founded the first ever ‘Rites for Girls Facilitator Training’.

She is passionate about re-connecting men and women to their natural power and beauty and re-awaken their innate potentials for living wholehearted and passionate lives, enjoying loving and deeply fulfilling relationships. When not in London or working abroad, she lives close to nature in the deep south of France, learning how to grow plants and vegetables and live a sustainable lifestyle while trying to make time for writing.
Helena Løvendals website.


[1] Feud himself was quite vague about how his Oedipal theory applied to girls; putting forward, amongst other things, the idea that the ability to experience a vaginal orgasm was a sign of emotional and sexual maturity in girls/young women.